Aloha to all of my friends and family and who ever else if reading my Blog.
I am writing to ask you about kids. Whether you have them or not I would still love to hear your answer.
- When do you think a married couple should have them?
- Is it better early in the relationship, or later?
- Do you raise them like you were raised, or how your spouse was raised?
- Do you spank your kids like you were spanked?
- Allowance? (what is that, I had a JOB!
Thank you. I was just curious on what my friends, family and people in general think.
twins?
Check out da threads!
whoa those are some heavy questions. most wont even be relevant for a few years after they get here. but for you 1st question the sooner you have them the sooner they are out of the house.
and for the others it is just like everything else in a marriage it’s all about compromise and communication. for the most part though I think the raising part should be mostly up to the one staying home with the child the most but with a nice check and balance of your spouse. does any of that make any sense?
I haven’t even thought about allowance I never got any so thats all new to me. (ps sorry if this is the only comment you get)
Just in case you haven’t heard this one yet… You will never be ready for kids! There is hope my friend.
Maybe you should not spank like you were spanked…. I have heard some wild stories, but you will be surprised at how much you will love your child and how much grace God will give you when dealing with them. Don’t forget that they are a blessing and God knows the best time. P.S. your wife is amazing and wise… I would listen to what she says about it.
Love you
why do you have 2 blog rolls and i ma not on wither one of them?
whatever
1.When do you think a married couple should have them?
*I don’t think think you’re every “ready”, so just whenever it happens!
2.Is it better early in the relationship, or later?
*We were married only 2 1/2 years when the 1st one came. It nearly split us up. A lot of change in a little amount of time. The 3rd came after 8 years. Much easier on the relationship.
3.Do you raise them like you were raised, or how your spouse was raised?
*Hate to tell you this, but in most cases (most meaning EVERYONE I know), it’ the way the Mom was raised only a w/ a few mild changes.
4. Do you spank your kids like you were spanked?
*A spank is a serious thing in our house. Sparingly works best for our girls. Maybe once a year. Loss of priveleges (dolls)is the most devastating for girls.
5.Allowance? (what is that, I had a JOB!
*We call it “commission”. I don’t want my kids to think that anyone (especially the government) should make allowance for them. It’s the whole mindset. The oldest can earn $5 each week if she completes all 5 chores. She’s never completed all 5 chores.
When do you think a married couple should have them?
Well, one advise that worked for us was, ‘When you are more ready than less ready’. When you have established most of your beliefs together and the functionality of your life is something you have agreed upon. When you are ready for what you currently have to change at least 80%. (100% for the first year, then it does come back around some.)
Is it better early in the relationship, or later?
I personally think later, because of examples I have seen for both. We did it 5 years into marriage, and we are very thankful for that time. It does not mean it can’t work having them sooner, I think there are challenges that will be there either way.
Do you raise them like you were raised, or how your spouse was raised?
Niether. Come to your own conclusions together on what you want to do, spank, read before bed, eat dinner together etc. All things that shape a kids life and mind. I am glad we really take bits and pieces from both, and from our own research, and do it totally different.
Do you spank your kids like you were spanked? nah, that was not the kind where the kid understands it.
Allowance? (what is that, I had a JOB) yeah, Abby gets one toy every time she picks up her room, just kidding. Too soon for that advise!
I know one thing, your babies will be beautiful. My sister has 2 kids, prego with the third. They did it right away. It has been super hard on their relationship, and the kids are the ones who suffer, seeing the fightning and crying etc. The kids are ok, cute as ever, but it is much harder. Our situation is not a cake walk, of course there are lots of challenges, but our relationship has been much more stable because of a firm foundation that was able to firm up and take shape over years of ‘good times and bad, sickness and health’. When Abby was flown to Kapiolani and I was unable to even hold her, Jason was not by my side, but that sweet little innocent baby. It is a good thing we have a good relationship. That was one of the ultimate hardships. So, anyways, that is my advise if ya want it.
Aloha Tonggs!